Dissecting Mr. Chicken

I’m always surprised that people don’t cut up their own chickens. You save significant money over store-bought split pieces, it isn’t hard and I think the chicken actually tastes better (which may be a complete placebo effect, but so be it).

Since my wife and I typically are cooking only for ourselves, we might buy a five-pound chicken, split it, roast half and cut the other half into pieces to fry at a later date. It’s easy — here’s how you do it.

1. Invest in a pair of poultry shears. These are stubby little scissors and they will make your chicken-cutting life much easier. You can buy a pair of Faberware shears that will work just fine for only a few bucks.

2. Remove the backbone. Now, if you haven’t ever dealt with Mr. Chicken in his whole state, you might not know which side is the back side. It’s the side with the little tail sticking out of the end.

Use the shears to trim through the chicken on either side of the backbone. You’ll cut your way through a bunch of little rib bones — don’t worry about it. Remove the backbone and flip the chicken over.

3. Press and flatten. This is called ‘spatchcocking’ the chicken. It’s a great way to grill it flat on the barbecue, but we’re doing it in this case to make things easy for you.

4. Using a sharp knife that WON’T BE DAMAGED BY A FEW BONES (some really high-quality knives can’t take this), cut right through the middle of your flattened chicken. This is the cartilage that attaches the two breasts together. Cut through it and — voila! — you have two chicken halves.

Want to keep butchering at this point? Next:

5. Separate the leg/thigh quarters from the breast/wings. Cut along the edge of the thigh until you hit bone. Pull on the chicken until the thigh bone separates from the breast (you’ll hear it crack). Cut along the separation (you’ll probably still have a bit of bone there) until you’ve separated the two.

6. Take the thigh/leg and cut at the edge of the leg where it attaches to the thigh — again, until you hit bone. Again, pull to separate the bones until you hear the crack, and then use the knife to separate the two.

7. Use the same drill to separate the wings from the breasts. Cut along the line where the breast and wing meet and when you hit bone, pull to dislocate/separate the two. Cut along the separated area and you’ll have separate wings and breasts.

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Now, here’s a simple and completely delicious roast chicken recipe. This works with half a chicken as well, in a little less time:

— One whole chicken, about five pounds

— One roasting pan WITH RACK. A vertical chicken roaster is even better but can be hard to find.

–Kosher salt, black pepper, garlic powder, dried thyme (fresh is even better but dried works fine), powdered sage.

–A small amount of vegetable oil, about two teaspoons or so.

Remove giblets and neck if they’re inside the bird; throw away. Wash the chicken. Pat it dry. Remember: DRY. Water steams the meat and we don’t want that. Dry it off!

Take a small amount of vegetable oil and rub over entire bird. You just want to coat it lightly. This helps keep the seasoning in place and it also helps brown the skin.

Salt entire bird, inside and out. Think of it as a “rinse of salt” — try to apply it evenly, but not too heavily (but still, probably heavier than you might think). Now, apply modest amounts of black pepper, thyme and sage to the exterior. Take it easy on the sage in particular. Use your best judgment — remember, it’s a seasoning, not a covering.

Pre-heat oven to 425 degrees. Put chicken on roaster rack and drop it into oven. Don’t check it for at least half an hour; assume it will take 45 minutes to an hour to cook. The chicken is done when the skin is crispy and the juices from the thigh run clear.

I just made it tonight and served with corn that I cooked and froze this summer and mashed sweet potatoes. Terrific!

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