I’m not one of those people who are freaked out by clowns. The only ones I remember as a kid are the ones who used to show up on Showtime (not the cable network, but a local kids’ TV show) every once in a while, and they were fun. Emmett Kelly and Red Skelton made the rounds on TV, but they did not have one of those terror-inducing faces. The Shriners were big on dressing as clowns during various holiday parades, and I never knew of the existence of Bozo until cable TV showed up and I was in my tweens.

But I am very afraid of Twisty, arguably the star of this year’s “American Horror Story.” You just know he’s up to no good once those juggling clubs appear:

He’s also got the Scariest Running Style Ever:

…and I am irrationally concerned I’m going to wake up to this:

Twisty is all the reason I need to keep watching American Horror Story this year (the real freaks in the show seem almost an afterthought in comparison). But it’s going to take a toll.